Vedder, Into the Wild

It's a mystery to me We have a greed with which we have agreed. You think you have to want more than you need Until you have it all you won't be free Society You're a crazy breed I hope you're not lonely Without me When you want more than you have, you think you need But when you think more than you want Your thoughts begin to bleed I think I need to find a bigger place. Cause when you have more than you think, You need more space Society crazy indeed I hope you're not lonely Without me There's those thinking more less less is more But if less is more, how you keeping score? Means for every point you make, your level drops. kinda like youre starting from the top You can't do that Society Have mercy on me Hope you're not angry If I disagree society You're a crazy breed Hope you're not lonely....

Restless

Growing more and more restless. With the current state of affairs in the world and in my life I feel as if I'm behind the ball. I have this overwhelming urgency to sell all I have and get out of the civilized world. It wakes me up nearly every night.

Dennan

In these troubled times its hard enough as it is. My soul has known a better life than this. I wonder how so many can be in so much pain, while others dont seem to feel a thing. Then I curse my whiteness and i get so depressed. In a world full of suffering, why should i be so blessed? I heard about a woman who lives in Colorado. She built a monument of sorts behind the garage door, where everyday she prays for all whom are born and all whose souls have passed on. Sometimes my troubles get so thick, I cant see how I'm going to get through it. But then I'd rather be stuck up in a tree than be tied to it! There is so much more. I don't feel comfortable with the way that my clothes fit. I can't get used to my body's limits. I got some fancy shoes to try and kick away these blues. They cost a lot of money but they arent worth a thing. I want to free my feet from the broken glass and concrete. I need to get out of this city. Lay upon the ground and stare a whole in the sky, wondering where I go when I die... When I die....

www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org

On 5/24/11 2:53 AM, "emrich@firehousemail.com" wrote:


Hello-

I would just like to drop a quick note to tell you that I think what your organization does is fantastic. I have been a firefighter for 13 years, and have dealt with a large amount of child and baby deaths; from delivering stillborns, to baby and child CPR's, to performing the actual death notifications to parents.

I have had to perform as department chaplain on occasion, and have ALWAYS encouraged the parents to hold, cuddle, and love their dead child, and even to take pictures with them. I have been gven a hard time on a number of occasions, called "morbid" and even been "talked to" by supervisors for being "insensitive" to the patients family for suggesting they hold their dead child.

I think your organization is great, and from what Ive seen, is full of love. My own son almost died shortly after birth, and I remember wondering what I should do if he died. Should i take pictures? would people think i'm crazy? could i even hold my dead son without breaking down and losing it?

Thank you for what you do. i believe it helps people deal with a death so much better.

God bless all of you!

Matt

Matthew D. Emrich
253-592-4443


From: Adrianna Stearns

To: ,

Date: Wed 05/25/11 09:34 AM


Hello!

I prematurely sent that last email- Sorry about that! I want to thank you for your kind words, and more so for your service as a firefighter and EMT. We are lucky to have people like you serving our country. Certain people criticize our organization as well, telling us it is strange. But until they themselves are put in a position where they would have to consider our services they should have no right to talk. We have had many families get in contact with us regretting their decision to turn down our services after they lost their baby. It is unfortunate that anyone does have to consider post mortem pictures, but I think it is important to cherish every moment possible.

Again, thank you for your kind words! I hope you have a fantastic day.

Sincerely,

Adrianna Stearns
www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org
720-283-3339 (Colorado)
1-877-834-5667 (Outside of Colorado)
720-283-8998 (Fax)

Ugh

I am glad Bin Laden is dead. Overjoyed actually, and I didnt even know it until now. I was sitting in my coffee shop this morning and opened up a news website. Of course the first picture was OBL. I instantly broke down and started crying. And it wasnt like my eyes got watery or somethething, Im talking full-blown had to go into the bathroom and regain my composure crying. (I felt like such a friggin little girl, it was crazy embarrassing)

I wasnt sure why even. Didnt even correlate the two until I got a hold of myself. Here is why I believe I felt such strong emotion-

Ever since the morning of September 11th, 2001 I've been busy. I honestly believe I've made a difference and had an impact on the recovery from September 11th. (Although i believe the word "recovery" in the case of 9/11 is relative. I don't think 9/11 will ever be recovered from. Nor ever be able to "get over it")

Although I am very grateful for the relationships, friendships, and experiences that I have had and that I have now, I hate that I have them because of 9/11. I have personally seen the devastation and the hurt that the cowardly act on that day incurred, and I hate it with every part of my being.

I have learned to hate humanity's sin nature, and in doing so I feel as though I started to hate humanity as a whole and began to feel critical of everyone (and critical of a lot of personal beliefs along the way). I hate that about me now, as this morning it seems to be all coming to light all at once.

Like i said previously, I have been very busy since 9/11. Even at the sake of my family and personal, non-FD relationships. I feel that the OBL death is NOT an end or a "closure" to 9/11, and I hardly feel that "justice has been done". I do believe however, that the death of OBL is a turning point in the healing process for those affected in any way by 9/11, directly or indirectly.

I think that ive been so busy since that day that maybe I havent had a chance to stop and feel the rose's thorns until now.

But there are still a lot of my brothers out there fighting for their lives, and most of them probably, no, most likely, will not win the fight. Most of them are not fighting for their lives as much as they are fighting for the security and welfare of their families after they are gone.

The way they are being treated by the very ones that they swore to protect (and I guarantee you-would still lay their lives down for without hesitation) angers and sickens me. The thing that most angers me is that the reason these people are being treated like this is because of nothing but sick, disgusting, dirty, bloody MONEY. Nothing else. There's your humanity for you.

So in summary, the war isnt over but yet one more battle has been won. How many more battles are there going to be though?

I'm tired and I'm NEVER going to be able to stand by and do nothing.

I just wish things were like they were before 9/11. I think. I barely remember how it was anymore.

I just wonder whats next... Do I even want to know?

Why wilderness?

In some men, the need of unbroken country, primitive conditions and intimate contact with the earth is a deeply rooted cancer gnawing forever at the illusion of contentment with things as they are. For months or years this hidden longing may go unnoticed and then, without warning, flare forth in an all consuming passion that will not bear denial. Perhaps it is the passing of a flock of wild geese in the spring, perhaps the sound of running water, or the smell of thawing earth that brings the transformation. Whatever it is, the need is more than can be borne with fortitude, and for the good of their families and friends, and their own particular restless souls, they head toward the last frontiers and escape.

-Sigurd olson