The Big Hole, just east of Divide

It seemed to cut through the rock-laden valley with a purpose. The river boasted long bends which were cut by rock, earth, and sage. The water slowed at one bend, as if to take a break from its nonstop journey. At another bend, the speed of the crystal liquid would increase so it could slowly cut away more earth with its enormous force.

There was one point in the river where a sky blue ice bridge covered with fresh white powder lay over the water. It almost was as if the ice and snow were trying to stop the mighty flow, but the current continued through. It was unstoppable, but yet seemed to have a respect for the attempt.

There were two tunnel type caves along the river. They are definitely man-made, as evidenced by holes drilled for dynamite throughout the cave, and the old scratchings of names inside on the walls. I'm unsure if they were cut to be tunnels for trains, or possibly even wagons? The mouths of the tunnels seemed to be wide open and inviting, as if they were lonely and desperate for a visitor to enter and explore them. They made me think of an old man- friendly, weathered, and full of stories which he is dying to tell. But the tunnels have no tongue, so one can only speculate what they have to say.

I find myself wondering- What have they seen? Why are they here? How many stories have been told about them? In them?

Later I was walking on a hillside surrounded by sage, trees, and snow. I began thinking about change. I thought about how things always change, regardless of one's attempts to keep things from changing.

I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. It was then that the deafening sound of pure silence enveloped me like a warm winter cloak. Comforting yet heavy, it reminds me of how everything has a price, and everything has a catch.

I realized at that point that i was in the middle of my own personal contradiction. Throughout the years, the very terrain on which i was standing had been through many changes. This silence however, this overwhelming aura of unchanged beauty due to the lack of man's encroachment with "civilization" and "modern progression" (aka vandalism) has remained the same- pure and fresh.

The snow was all around, like a blanket of pure white sugar. Each crystal reflected light in its own way, as each flake had its own shape, unlike any other. I almost felt guilty just taking another step, as i did not want to alter this beautiful natural wonder with human disruption.

"When you love something, you have a duty to protect it. In order to love something, you have to try to understand it.

At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear. It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us. You can love completely without complete understanding.

Its 0140

I should be in bed.... Im up at 0140 looking at backpacks online, watching a vid on the Appalachian Trail, and now typing.... I should be in bed...

"les conquérants de l'inutile"

The conquerors of the useless.... Lionel Terray used this term to describe adventurers, climbers, hikers, etc., after accomplishing feats that have no value other than the satisfaction of completion for the adventurer.

"Les conquérants de l'inutile" refers principally to the whole activity of adventure seeking. Sometimes risking your very life--for what? To stand for a few minutes or an hour on top of a piece of rock, then climb back down again. To WALK from one place to another. Does the world need this activity? Why do some people feel compelled to do it (or so many other extreme things that we seem compelled to do, for no clear gain) That becomes a metaphor for the whole question of what is "useful" and what is "useless"--for the world, for mankind as a species, for our survival.

Taking a small adventure, of any kind, leads to growth and change of your person, of your ideals, and hopefully then of the way you interact with the land, and your priorities. Its a grass roots revolution.

So with that in mind, Ive decided to undertake an adventure of my own, the Pacific Crest Trail. This is more or less the main "outdoors" adventure I'll be undertaking. I'm leaving for San Jose in about 3 weeks, and starting medic school. Thats a pretty big adventure I guess... I should be done with school around July of 2011, and then i plan on taking the PCT trip mid August.

The PCT trip I'm thinking is going to take about 2 weeks. Im not 100% sure which section I'll be doing yet, but tentatively I'm thinking Highway 12 to I-90. I havent decided what the goal is for the trip, or if there really IS going to be a goal besides to survive out there for two weeks.

I'm really looking forward the the simple living aspect of the adventure (I actually dont really like calling it adventure al the time. it typically BECOMES an adventure after something goes wrong). We only are going to be able to bring about 25 pounds maximum after all, so it will kind of force me into simple living. It will be nice though, to unwind a little bit though. Yvon Chouinard said "The hardest thing in the world is to simplify your life. It's easy to make it complex."

What i would like the end result to be is that after two weeks we get home with a feeling of accomplishent for achieving the useless, and that we have learned a little more about ourselves in the process.

At the end what's important is not WHAT we will accomplish, but HOW we accomplished it.